I had breakfast with Lita this morning, and while we were talking I realized one of the key reasons I value our friendship: It’s not one-sided.

When I was in 6th grade I didn’t have a large circle of friends, but there was one girl in particular that I spent a pretty fair amount of time with. I considered her a good friend at one point, but found that she took advantage of that friendship. Everything we did was what she wanted to do, we only got together when it worked for her, and somehow we only talked about her problems and issues. If I ever spoke up with a problem that I had, she would wave it off like it was not important, and then immediately turn the discussion back to her agenda.

It was important to me to be a good friend, and so I went awhile without really understanding that our friendship was completely one-sided. I would give and give, and yet never receive anything in return. It was a great arrangement for her, but not so good for me. I began to cut back on my time with her, and we eventually went our separate ways. I’ve often wondered why I didn’t try bringing it to her attention, but I probably felt that she would have ignored my observation.

Lita, on the other hand, is always so open and generous with her time, and she always is there to listen when I need that. I want to make a conscious effort to return the same to her; after having been on the giving end of a one-sided friendship I would never want to do that to someone else.

We’re fairly selfish creatures by nature, always trying to look out for ourselves. The truly wonderful people, like Lita, make it a point to look out for others, too. She’s a great role model in that respect, and somebody that I admire so much. I’m lucky to have her as a friend, and I’m going to make sure that I hold up my end of that relationship.

(So, Galahad fans, what do you think? Have you been in a one-sided friendship? Are you able to honestly evaluate the friendships you have now, and see if you’re holding up your end of the bargain? Remember, this is your forum, a chance for you to chat about Triana’s observations. You’re invited to post your thoughts about one-sided friendships. And thanks, as always, for visiting Club Galahad!)

During our training for this mission, we had plenty of official meetings and classes, and the work was pretty intense. But there were times when small groups of us would meet with Dr. Zimmer, and he’d simply talk to us about…well, about life, I guess.

He never meant the meetings to be heavy, and in fact I remember lots of laughter as we sat around in the park, or in the campus dining hall, or wherever. Yet I usually picked up something that helped me personally.

Something stands out from one of our last meetings. We’d had a good talk as a group, with most people chiming in to add their own thoughts, and things were about to wrap up. Then Dr. Zimmer began to quietly talk about what made us different, what made us stand out from the other applicants for Galahad. Of course, all of us fell silent as he spoke.

He talked about the choices that we all have to make in life. Not specific choices, but more about how we, as individuals, go about choosing our paths. What struck me the most was how he talked about choosing between the easy path, and the more challenging one. He felt that each of us on Galahad were the type to consistently avoid the easy out; he was convinced that we were successful because we pushed ourselves to excel, to explore the more challenging routes in life.

As I look back on all of the choices I’ve made in my life, I can’t help but think that he’s right. Taking the easy way out would probably have shaped my life in ways I wouldn’t recognize now. It’s confidence, Dr. Zimmer said, that gives us the belief that we can overcome the difficult tasks. And, the more we challenge ourselves, the more we see the personal rewards that result.

I understand well enough to know that it doesn’t mean choosing impossible goals; it means having the faith in myself to give just a little more, to reach a little higher, and to pull myself up to new heights each time. Nothing beats that feeling.

(So, Galahad fans, what do you think? Would Triana have been the Council Leader on this mission if she’d always found an easy out in her life? Have you found yourself faced with those same choices? How did you react? What did you learn? What do you think you gain from challenging yourself, versus taking the easy way out? Your comments, as always, are welcome here at Club Galahad! And be sure to share this site with all of your friends!)

Experts tell us that sleep is crucial for many reasons that we know (rest, recuperation, memory function), and likely crucial for reasons that we still don’t quite understand (how the mind works, cell regeneration, etc). Even though I know how important sleep is, I still often find myself unable to drift off because of one very frustrating reason: I can’t shut off my mind.

I’ve had the problem off and on since dad first became sick, and it pops up a lot now that we’re off on the mission. Both Dr. Zimmer and Dr. Armistead talked with me about it, and they both offered suggestions. For that matter, the ship’s data banks are stuffed with articles and information that’s supposed to help.

I can’t help but think that my brain fights off these techniques for a reason. I’ve tried everything from meditation at night, to altering my diet, to altering my exercise patterns, to journaling (like this), and many more. Sometimes I wonder if my mind resists these ‘cures’ because it feels so strongly that I need to process the jumble of ideas and concerns that swirl around in there.

I used to look at my ‘monkey mind’ as a curse, something that led to precious little sleep on certain nights. And yet, there’s a part of me that hopes I never lose that concentration, that focus. Yes, I often envy people who easily get their eight hours every night, but perhaps that’s just not me. I know that I’ve done some of my best thinking while lying there, staring into the darkness, with the chaos of the previous day behind me and a fresh slate for the future waiting to be filled. That monkey mind is definitely a hard worker, although a bit demanding.

As always, I recognize that it will all come down to balance. Perhaps someday someone will read these words and understand exactly what I’m talking about. My guess is that I’m merely a member of a vast club of Monkey Minders out there. Here’s hoping that we get our sleep, AND work out our problems.

I was finishing up a paper for school today, sitting near the back of the auditorium. I struck up a conversation with Angelina and she said something that stayed with me. Now, as I think more about it, I realize how important it is. In fact, I might post something to the crew later, just to give them something to think about.

Angelina was talking about another school project, a history report, and said “I wish I had more time to read about that, because it seems pretty interesting.” Then, a few minutes later, she was talking about the upcoming soccer tournament and said “I wish I had practiced harder when I played back on Earth.”

Two completely different thoughts, but both of them involving a wish. As I walked back to my room it dawned on me that most of us fall into that trap. We too often choose to wish for something, rather than put in the work necessary to create it.

I don’t live Angelina’s life, but I’m pretty sure that if she really wanted to learn more about something, she would make the time, perhaps by cutting back a little bit of time on other activities. Or, if she really wanted to step up her soccer game, she could skip a few chat sessions in the Dining Hall each night and work a little harder on the practice field.

I’m going to make a conscious effort to see how often I wish for something, and follow that up with an honest evaluation: Is it really something that can only be wished for, or is it something that is within my control? Wishing, without any action, seems to be about surrendering personal responsibility; that’s something I would never wish for.

(Okay, Galahad fans, what do you think? Are you the type to simply wish for things, or do you agree with Triana that perhaps there’s more within your control than you think? Have you caught yourself taking the easy way out by hoping that something would work out, rather than making it work out?  Click on the Comments button below and share your thoughts.)

We learned a lot during our training for this mission. Much of it had to do with science, mathematics, and other subjects to help us with our day-to-day responsibilities of running the ship.

But we also learned quite a bit about what makes us tick. I know that Dr. Armistead did all that she could in such a short time, but there’s still so much more to understand about ourselves. Lately I’ve wondered about the simple - but also complex - idea of human contact.

No matter how isolated we sometimes try to be, I believe that we all crave human touch. We might even physically need it. I remember how good it felt when my dad would give me a hug. Or even the simple joy of getting a massage. I once had my hair shampooed before the stylist cut it, and that sensation was heaven.

Channy told me that she would often go with her mom and sister to get manicures, and she said it wasn’t the finished nails that she loved the most; it was the way it felt while it was happening.

I’ve been lonely on this trip, and sometimes a sadness comes over me that I can’t describe. Yes, I know that I’m missing my dad; but I now wonder if it’s also the loss of contact that I miss. We are, after all, social creatures; is this why the simple contact with Bon sent such a shiver through me? Am I starved for human touch?

I could bring this up with Channy, and I know exactly what she would say: “How about Hug Day on the ship?”

And you know, she might be right.

(Okay, Galahad fans, what do you think about that? Do you believe that our moods and attitudes can be affected by human touch? Do you think Triana’s role as Council Leader isolates her more than the other crew members? Be sure to post your own thoughts on this, and make a note to come back and visit Triana’s Journal again soon!)

Over the past two years my dreams have become more and more vivid. Often the dreams are of dad, which make me happy, because in a way they give me a chance to stay connected with him. Some of those dreams are based strongly on pure memories of him, while others are very unfamiliar and slightly bizarre.

I’ve tried to do some reading about dreams, and I find it all quite fascinating. Although we might never really know for sure how they work, or what they mean, there are several theories that make sense to me. In particular, I like the idea that the brain uses dreams to process much of the information that it stores throughout the day.

After thinking about it, I’ve decided that what I’m doing right now is pretty much what my brain is doing at night: journaling.

My daily journal is a record of my conscious thoughts from the day, and while many of them involve memories, sometimes I’ll read an older journal entry and think, ‘Wow, where did that come from?’

Likewise, my dreams, I believe, are a record of my unconscious thoughts. Sometimes I understand exactly what my dream is trying to tell me - or can at least figure it out after some reflection - while other dreams are too difficult for my conscious mind to understand. I trust that, somewhere deep inside my mind, it does make some kind of sense, and eventually helps me in ways that I might not recognize right away.

Regardless, I’m glad that I have these pathways to the past and - maybe - the future. And if they allow me to still see my dad from time to time, I’m happy.

(Okay, Galahad fans, it’s your turn to sound off. How often do your dreams make sense to you? Do you agree with Triana, that maybe your brain is using your dreams as its own way of journaling? What have you learned from your dreams? As always, this is your chance to share your thoughts and feelings. And thank you so much for supporting the Galahad series!)

I know that I’m like most people when it comes to issues that trouble me; I tend to think of them as immense obstacles, giant barriers to happiness. And, many times, I feel that they will overwhelm me. It’s during these moments that I try to remember another of the great lessons that my dad taught me.

His love of the outdoors wore off on me, and together we shared bike rides, rafting trips, and (our favorite) long hikes. Growing up in Colorado, we had no shortage of gorgeous trails, with views of the Rocky Mountains that would take your breath away.

During one particular hike in late August, near the continental divide, we found ourselves sitting alongside a small, blue-green lake, surrounded by peaks that stretched close to 13,000 feet. They were jagged, rocky peaks, with patches of dirty ice that had never quite melted from the previous winter. We ate trail mix and bananas, and my dad listened attentively while I whined on and on about a problem that (to me) seemed insurmountable. In fact, I might have even said, “This will never go away.”

He patiently waited until I grew quiet. Then, he pointed at the fortress of rock that loomed above us. “These mountains,” he said, “are quite majestic, aren’t they?” I didn’t answer right away, because I knew that he was about to make an important point. Instead I followed his gaze to the massive rock face before us. He continued: “They tower over us, and they seem as if they’ll be here forever.”

“But look down here,” he said, and indicated the base of the slope. Littered as far as we could see were giant boulders, along with countless other pieces of rock and debris. “All of that came down from this mountain over time. Wind, rain, ice, running water; all of these things have taken this impossibly strong mountain and worn it away. You can see the results lying all around us. And, it still goes on, even today. A year from now there will be even more debris down here, eroded from the face of the cliff. Years from now, this entire mountain will be worn away.”

I looked at him and he smiled. “Do you see what I’m trying to tell you?” Of course I did. As difficult as things may seem, as massive as any problem might appear, it’s often no match for time and patience. What we think of as insurmountable is no more permanent than the Rocky Mountains. We can always overcome.

 (So what do you say, Galahad fans? Have you ever felt like a problem was so big that you would never be able to overcome it? What would you add to what Triana’s dad told her? What advice would you give to someone who was battling a difficult situation? As always, this is your chance to share your thoughts and feelings. And thank you so much for supporting the Galahad series!)

We were only allowed to bring a limited number

of personal items aboard the ship when we left Earth, and I know it was a
tough decision for many of my ship mates when it came time to select. For me,
the decision was easy: I had to bring these notebooks.

Some people need to talk out their problems and issues. I’m one of those people who prefers to journal; there’s something about putting my thoughts and emotions on paper that helps me process all of the things that are fighting for attention in my mind.

I talked with Dr. Armistead about it before we launched, and she told me that she’s the same way. To her, talking is good, but once the words are out of your mouth, she felt like they dissolved into the air, and left no record of ever being spoken, and therefore carried no weight. However, words that are written, she said, seem to carry a little more power; they are bolder, and often have more truth within them.

Personally, I believe that written thoughts require a little more bravery. It’s easy to open your mouth and spill words. But to sit down and compose your thoughts on paper requires more time, more thoughtfulness, and opens pathways to other thoughts that you might otherwise not have considered.

When I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m angry…the emotion seems more real to me when I’m able to write it down and explain it. And it’s comforting to be able to look back and read the journal of my life and my feelings, and know that I’m truly human.

(What do you say, Galahad fans? Do you keep a journal? If so, how has it helped you with your thoughts and feelings? When you journal, are you completely honest with yourself? Feel free to post your reaction to Triana’s journal entry, and thank you for visiting the Galahad Blog!)

At lunch this week I heard someone say ”everything happens for a reason.” It made me stop and think…and I’m still thinking about it.

I struggle with this. On one hand, to say that everything happens for a reason is a powerful incentive to learn and grow. Take what happened with Comet Bhaktul; did that happen so that the 251 of us on the ship would have the chance to discover some hidden strengths within us? Did it happen to fulfill some kind of destiny? Did it happen to give our species a new beginning, which we maybe desperately needed?

On the other hand, I feel that to throw up my hands and say ”everything happens for a reason” means I have no say in what happens to my life. Am I powerless to control my own destiny? Has it already all been written down somewhere, and I’m just playing out a scene that has already been decided? I don’t like to think of my life that way. I’d like to think I have more control than that.

I’m still thinking about it, of course, but for now I don’t think that things happen for a reason. I believe that things just happen, and how we react to them is what’s most important. I don’t think that things have been decided, that they are somehow predetermined. Tomorrow is a blank slate, and there are an infinite number of possibilities; how I respond to each one will ultimately alter the next one, and the next, and the next.

If it’s not this way, then for what reason have I been blessed with intelligence and the ability to reason? I might as well just be a mindless assortment of atoms, pushed and pulled by destiny.

(Okay, Galahad fans, now it’s your turn. What do you think about all of this? Do you share Triana’s thoughts, or do you believe that things happen for a reason? Or do you think it’s somewhere in between the two? This is a good chance for you to sit and think about things, and then share your opinions. Just click on the Comments button below and post your opinion.)

Electronic communication has been around for a long time, and I can’t deny how useful it is. Email, a term that was born with the personal computer in the late 20th century, gets a lot of use on Galahad; I know that I rely on it daily.

And yet I’m finally beginning to understand why Dr. Zimmer did not want us to carry personal communication devices on the ship. On Earth, nobody is ever alone, nobody is ever out of touch; just push a few buttons and you’re connected. I was convinced I would miss that on this mission.

Now, almost a year after launch, I realize that I haven’t thought about it in months. I have learned to rely on face-to-face communication…which I’m sure was Dr. Zimmer’s goal. We have email, and we have an intercom system. But the days of zapping an electronic message on the fly are over for us, and I’m pretty sure that our communication skills have improved because of it. If left up to us, would we have voluntarily abandoned our dependence on the old ’phones?’

This is not about condemning technology, or dreaming about returning to ’the good old days.’ It’s just an observation. On Galahad we usually are looking at the person we’re talking to; I have to believe that it helps us to better communicate with each other, and likely has eliminated a lot of misunderstandings. We have a healthy balance between electronic communicating and real personal conversation.

When we arrive at Eos I’m sure we’ll have the knowledge and tools necessary to once again take short cuts. The question is…should we?

(Okay, Galahad fans, now it’s your turn. Do you feel like your dependence on email and texting has hurt you - even a little bit - when it comes to communicating? What do you think Dr. Zimmer was really trying to accomplish? Do you think things should change when the crew arrives at Eos? Feel free to share your ideas and feedback on this journal entry from Triana, or any of the others found here on the Galahad Blog. Thanks!)