I try not to dwell too much on the “Earth calendar.” I’m aware of the date, but I suppose I prefer to disconnect from the natural associations that I would make back home.

But it’s difficult. I know that this week marks the first week of spring where I grew up, which means I would be breaking out my warm-weather clothes, planning another white-water rafting trip with my dad and friends, and hiking. All of that now lies a few billion miles behind me. When the seasons change aboard Galahad, nothing really changes.

Or maybe…

I believe that we have our own internal, personal seasons. As we grow and experience more of life, we change. Some of our relationships, which just a few months earlier seemed in full bloom, might now seem to be fading. New relationships, in contrast, seem to burst into life from nowhere.

And all of this could apply to so many things in our lives. Interests, hobbies, passions; they all seem to have their own life cycle, their own seasons. Some even fade for a while, and then rush back again. We are fluid creatures, always in motion, always evolving, always - like the seasons - changing.

So, while I do my best to distract myself from thoughts of Earth’s progression through the calendar, deep inside I know that Mother Earth has imprinted some of her characteristics upon me.

(What do you think, Galahad fans? Are you sometimes surprised by a shift in your thinking? Does it bother you? Is it hard for you to accept these changes, or do you welcome them? What do you think of Triana’s comparison to a planet’s gradual swing through the various seasons? What season do are YOU in right now, personally? You’re encouraged to post your thoughts, and to share Triana’s Journal with your friends and family. Thank you for visiting Club Galahad!)

It seems that I don’t ever have enough “alone time” these days, so when I’m able to sit by myself I put it to good use. Although it’s sometimes difficult, I find that sitting quietly and calming my busy mind, turning down the inner volume, is something I need to do. That’s when I’m able to really think through anything that is disturbing me.

Lately, during my quiet moments, I have tried to embrace the concept of letting go. When I have worked through every possible solution, when I have done all that I can to fix what is wrong, sometimes I simply have to let it go. That’s hard for me, I realize. But I’m also learning that it is the only way to save myself. Let it go. More worrying, more biting my lip – Yes, Dad, I’m still biting my lip! – will not make the problem go away.

That doesn’t mean forgetting my responsibilities. It means that I recognize what I can affect, what I can change, what I can make better, and then focus my energies in that direction. We all worry about things that we think we can fix, when in reality we can not. Spending more time fretting about these things can only cause damage to ourselves, maybe even create a feeling that “I’m not good enough.” The truth is, we ARE good enough…we just sometimes take on more than we can handle.

Calm, peaceful, still. I am strong, I am powerful in ways that go far beyond physical strength, I am stretching my mind, my spirit, myself. What keeps me from growing will always be something that I choose to hold on to, something that I have given power to. Instead, I need to let it go.