What defines maturity?
It’s one of those things that doesn’t have a simple answer. Today, when I heard a crew member accuse someone of being immature, it suddenly made me remember a talk I had with my dad during one of our hikes. I had probably been giving him some attitude or something, but instead of scolding me he shook his head. He told me that I might think I was acting quite superior at the time, but in reality I was doing the exact opposite. I was as far from mature as I could get.
Over the next half-hour he opened my eyes to some things that I had never considered. I think this journal is a good place to record my memories of our ‘maturity discussion.’
Here the first one I remember. “You think you’re acting like an adult when you do the things you want to do,” my dad said. “But actually a sign of maturity is doing the things you don’t want to do.”
Of course, like most pearls of wisdom, it didn’t sink in right away. But it’s something I’ve come to appreciate more and more, especially with my responsibilities on Galahad.
When we’re very young, life is all about doing the things that we enjoy. We always want to do what we want, when we want to. In a way we almost expect the universe to revolve around our wishes and desires. It’s when you truly begin to mature that you understand all of the things that you don’t want to do, but that must be done.
This shows up in a lot of different ways. One is in taking responsibility, whether it’s property or other people. Deep down we’d rather just play, or ignore the things that need to get done, but we can’t. Someone has to be responsible. That person is usually the most mature.
Another example would be in doing the things that will actually be better for us. When we’re kids, we don’t want to think about that stuff. As we begin to mature, we learn to accept that it’s not always the easy path that’s the best. There are times we just have to do something because it’s the right thing. That’s a key sign of maturity.
I remember one other thing my dad said about this. “True maturity is when you do these things quietly, without drawing attention to the fact that you’re doing them.” In other words, if you have to announce to the world that you’re put out by doing something, but you’ll still do it anyway…well, then you’ve still got a bit of growing up to do.
So that was Maturity Lesson #1 from my dad. From time to time I’ll jot down the others that I remember.
(Okay, Galahad readers, do you have thoughts on this? Did Triana’s dad give you something new to think about? Do you remember a time when you suddenly realized that your own wants and desires had to take a back seat? Do you think you matured a bit when that happened? As with all of Triana’s journal entries, you’re invited to post your comments right here. And thank you for supporting the Galahad series!)
I’m an adult and it still gave me something to think about. Deep down I’d like to do ton of things I love doing, but sometimes I have to do the dishes.