Experts tell us that sleep is crucial for many reasons that we know (rest, recuperation, memory function), and likely crucial for reasons that we still don’t quite understand (how the mind works, cell regeneration, etc). Even though I know how important sleep is, I still often find myself unable to drift off because of one very frustrating reason: I can’t shut off my mind.

I’ve had the problem off and on since dad first became sick, and it pops up a lot now that we’re off on the mission. Both Dr. Zimmer and Dr. Armistead talked with me about it, and they both offered suggestions. For that matter, the ship’s data banks are stuffed with articles and information that’s supposed to help.

I can’t help but think that my brain fights off these techniques for a reason. I’ve tried everything from meditation at night, to altering my diet, to altering my exercise patterns, to journaling (like this), and many more. Sometimes I wonder if my mind resists these ‘cures’ because it feels so strongly that I need to process the jumble of ideas and concerns that swirl around in there.

I used to look at my ‘monkey mind’ as a curse, something that led to precious little sleep on certain nights. And yet, there’s a part of me that hopes I never lose that concentration, that focus. Yes, I often envy people who easily get their eight hours every night, but perhaps that’s just not me. I know that I’ve done some of my best thinking while lying there, staring into the darkness, with the chaos of the previous day behind me and a fresh slate for the future waiting to be filled. That monkey mind is definitely a hard worker, although a bit demanding.

As always, I recognize that it will all come down to balance. Perhaps someday someone will read these words and understand exactly what I’m talking about. My guess is that I’m merely a member of a vast club of Monkey Minders out there. Here’s hoping that we get our sleep, AND work out our problems.