In the Dining Hall this evening I overheard two girls talking about self-esteem. I wasn’t trying to snoop, but I was alone, they were right next to me, and it was impossible to tune them out. I found their conversation interesting because of the strange turn that it took.
Within moments of talking about things they do to feel good about themselves (like exercising, paying attention to their appearance, working on their education, etc.), they fell into a stretch of gossip about another girl in their workout group. Soon they were saying some petty things about her looks and her gym routine. I’m sure neither one of them noticed the irony when it comes to self-esteem.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find that when you criticize others in such a way, it’s usually just an insecure attempt to make you feel good about yourself. Rather than focusing on improving your own faults and areas of weakness, it’s somehow easier to pick apart someone else’s. I have caught myself doing this before, and it’s only later that I realize it was a cheap way of propping up my own insecurities.
Self-esteem is important, but I think how you build it is just as crucial. Doing it at the expense of others defeats the entire purpose.
(Okay, Galahad fans, now it’s your turn. Do you have any thoughts on what Triana is talking about? Have you ever given any thought to the effect your criticism of others really has on your own self-worth? Feel free to share your ideas and feedback on this journal entry from Triana, or any of the others found here on the Galahad Blog. Thanks!)
This is all too true
I think of myself as a good person and I don’t care what other people think of
me, and when I get criticized, I ignore them and move on with my life because
if they want to tear apart my self-esteem to make themselves better, it won’t
work. The only way you can make yourself better is to say only good things
about yourself, and say you’re a good person. Do good things too. People
around you will like you a lot more. Think good things. Triana makes a good
point at the end of her journal entry. Also say nice things about others or
don’t say anything at all! Don’t hurt anyone to make yourself cool.
I think that Triana is talking about how if you have to insult and judge
another person badly to gain self-esteem that you didn’t gain any self-esteem,
but instead crushed someone elses. When I was judging another person like
this it felt good for a little while. Later though I realized what I did and
knew that I didn’t gain self-esteem, but rather made someone else lose theirs.
I felt terrible about it and tried to avoid doing that again.
Criticism of others is a rude thing and cruel thing to do. Though people
still do it they are probably doing it cause of jealousy. When I do it, it
doesn’t make me feel better. I do it in most cases cause I’m mad at that
person or don’t like them.
I know how Triana feels cause it’s not nice to hear people do the gossip
routine all the time. It’s just hard to listen to and makes your jaw drop.
When you read Galahad, Tree never talks about people so she must feel strongly
about not doing it.
Triana is right. Bringing down others just makes you feel better for a little
while.
I think self-esteem is the most important thing. Even if other people don’t
like you, you can forget that and feel good about who you are. Don’t make
petty insults to make you feel good about yourself. Find the good things in
life.
I think that what Triana was saying made sense because on a day when your
confidence is needing a boost do you really want to say bad things about
yourself? No. But in the end, you don’t get an everlasting self-esteem boost
for saying things that don’t really matter about someone else either. If you
do need that 2 minutes of confidence just to feel bad after that, then I know
why you didn’t have much self-esteem in the first place.
I have thought about criticism lots of times because I was a person who
gossiped about another person because I was gossiped about a lot when I was
little because I was skinny and I regret making fun of that person. Wow,
Triana was right.
I think tree is trying to talk about how rude and how it feels when you insult
someone to get self-of steem.I do think it is okay to criticize someone to get
self- of steem but after awhile itmakes me feel sad and guilty because it
makes the other person feels sad so it should be okay sometimes not all the
time
i like to think of myself as a good person but sometimes it doesnt really
work. i mean everyones mean at one point or another its just some people are
meaner than others.
i think trianna is right because having good self esteem it is good but to
critisize others to get is completely wrong and disrespectful!!!!!
I think self-esteem is very important because if you think that talking about
people is making you feel good about your self, it is really not. If you have
no self-esteem you’re not just hurting yourself you’re hurting other people
too. You can pretend all you want that by talking about people it is making
you feel good,well it is not, you actually feel bad but you just don’t want to
show that. I think we are all the same in a different ways because we are all
human so I think we should just live life and not make a big deal of what
people are wearing or what they do. We should just live life and be happy the
way we are.
Resorting to criticizing others is a pretty sad way to try and build your own
self-esteem. While some people may think it makes them feel better, I would
find it hard to imagine that the feeling doesn’t change from pleasure to pain
and guilt. Complimenting and praising others actually feels much better and
actually leaves you feeling better too!! It takes very little to share a bit
of heart and a big smile with someone.
I tihnk having self-esteem is a very important part of who you are. I mean
talking about someone behind their backs is just plain R-U-D-E! If you have no
self-esteem you’re hurting other people than just yourself. Every person is
different in a lot of ways, and that’s great. If everyone was the same… the
world would be like a big pot whole! Now take some pride and realize the
people you’re hurting and apologize!
I think talking about self esteem makes it stronger so you can get more ideas
to strenghten it or change it up! When you talk about other people’s self
esteem and they find out, 1:they will be mad at you. 2:that might lower there
self esteem. Which hurts someone because, well, that is how you gain courage
to go up to someone and tell them that you dont like what they are doing or,
go up to someone you like.