In the Dining Hall this evening I overheard two girls talking about self-esteem. I wasn’t trying to snoop, but I was alone, they were right next to me, and it was impossible to tune them out. I found their conversation interesting because of the strange turn that it took.

Within moments of talking about things they do to feel good about themselves (like exercising, paying attention to their appearance, working on their education, etc.), they fell into a stretch of gossip about another girl in their workout group. Soon they were saying some petty things about her looks and her gym routine. I’m sure neither one of them noticed the irony when it comes to self-esteem.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find that when you criticize others in such a way, it’s usually just an insecure attempt to make you feel good about yourself. Rather than focusing on improving your own faults and areas of weakness, it’s somehow easier to pick apart someone else’s. I have caught myself doing this before, and it’s only later that I realize it was a cheap way of propping up my own insecurities.

Self-esteem is important, but I think how you build it is just as crucial. Doing it at the expense of others defeats the entire purpose.

(Okay, Galahad fans, now it’s your turn. Do you have any thoughts on what Triana is talking about? Have you ever given any thought to the effect your criticism of others really has on your own self-worth? Feel free to share your ideas and feedback on this journal entry from Triana, or any of the others found here on the Galahad Blog. Thanks!)

I have read passages from great leaders who have mentioned that leadership is a very lonely thing. I have vague memories of my father talking about this, and slightly more recent experiences with Dr. Zimmer; they both pretty much said the same thing.

It’s human nature to want people to like you, to fit in, to be accepted. The very idea of protecting yourself from being an outcast goes back to our earliest ancestors; to be cast out of the clan meant almost certain death in a very harsh world.

My dad never put it in those terms, but he often spoke quietly with me about not sacrificing my values and ethics in order to temporarily placate somebody else. It’s tough enough for adults to overcome this, but (as Dr. Zimmer pointed out) ten-times more difficult for a teenager, when peer pressure is stifling.

I have been assigned the task of leading a group of people, and many times I must forcibly remind myself that my job is not to make everyone happy all the time, but to do what is right. It means often sacrificing short-term popularity, and that’s hard…but necessary.

It’s best to remember that what you are giving up IS truly short-lived; the person you have appeased will eventually move on and want you to give in again on an entirely different issue, while you must live with your decisions for the rest of your life.

Not everyone has the strength - the guts, really - to take on leadership. However, if I’m able to help even one person, to influence a decision that helps others, then it’s worth the lonely seat at the top.

(Now it’s your turn, Galahad fans. What do you think of Triana’s thoughts on leadership? Have you ever struggled with a decision because you knew it would be unpopular, yet you also knew it was the right thing to do? This is your forum, so speak your mind.)